Being a powerful influencer doesn’t happen in the intellectual bubble. Having a strong IQ will only get you so far along the path of being a great leader. Being able to influence and manage client communication, not over commit, and produce the right outcome at the right time takes a high level framework.
I was very fortunate to support Cameron Aggs founder of Be Mindful and Andrew Ramsden founder of Alpha Transform. I assisted them as they presented to leaders at Telstra and EIC. It was a truly heart opening experience to see mindfulness being taught at such a high level. My role was to share their message. This is an article I wrote about their work.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is not something that is necessarily taught in leadership. Learning how to mindfully communicate, speak less and listen more deeply is an essential skill that enhances and expands your influencing skills. Combine this with the art of being present and practicing mindfulness and you have a formula that is a win win situation for your company, clients and projects.
Mindfulness is being present on purpose in a non-judgemental or accepting way. This is a gift when stress strikes. It is a quality of awareness. It starts to unfold when you focus on purpose, in the present.
So many of us find is hard to switch off with such demands of the volume and complexity of our workloads. Relationships are strained, stress levels are off the charts and the expectations can be to work non-stop. Every day of the week. Managing this real time stress, matched with having limited influence, often leads to the wrong outcome.
Imagine a poker game. Applying mindfulness gets you in the room, distraction free, focused on what is in front of you. Being where you are. Being present. Finding the sweet spot of being relaxed and alert.
Using your EQ radar allows you to tune into what is going on for you right now and you need to get a sense of what is going on for the other person. Then apply your IQ intelligence using cognitive tactics and analytical thinking to get the best result.
Being a influencer is the ability to steer something onto the correct path. Mastering and encouraging change. Managers keep things running. Leaders influences change.
Influencing is our ability to communicate our knowledge and expertise in a way that promotes the outcome you are trying to achieve. This is most effective when balancing EQ with IQ. Using your IQ allows you to see what is correct. Combing your EQ allows you to see what is useful right now. What do I need, what does the other person need, how much time to do I have?
Influencing people is to take them on the journey and get your clients aligned and onboard. It is key to develop a EQ radar that doesn’t focus on just you, the context or the other person. See the bigger picture.
“Our emotional intelligence is the ability to navigate the human complexities of the current conversation or situation”
EQ challenges can occur when you or others listen with preconceived ideas and not an open mind. Try not to judge others too harshly and jump to conclusions. People judge us on what they see us do. They do not see our intentions. Take a step back and try to clarify what the sub text is.
When people do not communicate or listen well, use your EQ and ask questions. By bringing your best self to the conversation allows others to bring theirs. EQ is all about slowing down. Let your breathing be the bridge to the present moment.
Focus on your ability to maximise your control over your attention. Release. Relax. Return. This is a life long journey of imperfection. Commit to deeply listen to one conversation a day. Look for fears, hopes, intentions, expectations and wishes. Analyse what is said – spoken and explicit and how it is said – unspoken and implied.
Speak less and listen more.
Use these tips and advice to help you expand your sphere of influence
1- Be present.
The quickest way to anchor yourself into the present moment is to take 4 deep breaths.
See this article and video from clinical psychologist Cameron Aggs on how to practice mindfulness and breathe deeply. Do this 5 times a day. Release and relax and refocus. Click here
2- Improve your rationale.
Consider how good your thinking and arguments are. Humans are imperfect thinking machines. Check in with your emotions. Do you fear change or loss of control? Are you fatigued at the end of a long day and then have a poor nights sleeps?
Top tactic – Have clear and open communication. Take time to think it though. Ask others.
3- Harness your credibility.
How trustworthy and reliable are you? Are you transparent and open? Do you have a hidden agenda? Are you communicating your intentions?
Share your intention that brings your clients on a journey with you. Be on the same team. Sometimes we do not know our own intentions. This is where we can go inward and ask. Find your own intention. Taking small opportunities and be vulnerable. Be real and authentic. Follow through. Not owning and doing what you have said you will do results own poor outcomes for your clients which affects your credibility.
Top Tactic – Take small opportunities and be vulnerable. Be real and authentic.
4- Gain clarity.
How clearly can you communicate your message? Clarity is not a one way street, it is a conversation. Be mindful when giving the right level of detail, at the right time. Learn to art of pull communication and not to constantly push your needs and objectives.
Top Taptic – Use the pull model of communication. Draw out from the other person what their needs are and then fill them in using your strategy. Summarise information into bullet points. Know your audience and talk appropriately.
The first step on the path of pairing your IQ and EQ to work in harmony is to use the practice of mindfulness. Remember our poker game. Being present and in the moment is the best armour for you to give yourself permission to take a break, be kind to yourself and practice self care. This leads you to having a stronger sense of self and you are able to navigate the complex path of human communication.
I loved working with Cam and Andrew as I have learnt so much valuable knowledge that I can apply to my own business and clients. I mentor mama’s in business and currently have a space to take 3 new clients. Check out my mentor program here and book in a chat with me to see if our values are aligned, so we can discuss how I can help you create a beautiful business you love whilst mindfully raising your kids.
Namaste, love Leonie xx
